A few days ago I was cranky and didn’t know why. Then,
during an impromptu Skype studio visit with Terry in England, he observed
that the structure in my paintings is fading into the background and the gesture
is becoming dominant. How scary is that?
Very scary, it turns out. I realize that I always trusted the structure
to carry the “meaning” in my intentionally “meaningless” work (are you still
with me?) and the gesture was the lively little cheerleading team that gave it
edge and life. Thirty years pass this way—happily, I might add—until I wake up
to find that the gesture is parading about as the main character and, to make
it worse, I’m all too aware that “gesture” is simply a euphemism for “scribbles.”
Now I happen to love my scribbles;
I think they’re some of the best scribbles out there. But they’re scribbles.
Is it possible that anyone else
could love them as much as I do?
About the same time I run into Molly
Howitt in the parking lot at the Co-op. Molly was a ceramics student when I
was teaching painting at Bennington,
and I made it a point to collect as much of her output as possible—paying her
for some, but not being above poking around in the reject pile outside the
studio for others. I remember once
fighting with another faculty member over who was going to buy the bowl we were
supposed to be critiquing—I won, and still love it. Molly has been doing a million other things since, all worthy, but no
ceramics. When I bring this up for the 100th time (I can be
annoying), Molly says, “I loved the process, it’s just that I wasn’t doing
anything special.”
And true; her work was very simple. However it had an
elegance that distinguished it from all other handmade pots, most of which look,
to me (apologies, ceramicists out there!) excruciatingly alike. Molly brightened when I told her this;
maybe she’ll actually do it.
Then I went home to my scribbles, appreciating for the first
time, how much courage it must have taken to be Cy Twombly.
Carol Diehl, Althaea, 2012, ink & pencil on panel, 12" x 14"
6 comments:
A few years ago I experienced a similar shift in my work. The black forms were the constant and the color bands or borders were the site for variation and expression. Now it seems the color bars are the constant and the black form is where a lot of the visual activity is generated.
When you turn into an AbExer is when we'll start to worry!
Love this piece. Yes, Cy Twombly must have been brave. I hope you will follow his example and keep at your scribbles because you love them and maybe they are NOT just scribbles after all is said and done. xo
Love the piece.
Thanks for the comments! They keep me going.
I think this story you wrote is expressing your feellings. Cy Twombly had courage and even though they are just scribbles you can always make a meaning out of them. Just keep the scribbles cause you love them.
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